Message from Principal

Self reliance and Your Child

We often take such good care of our children that we virtually forget to teach them also to take care of themselves.

Without encouraging a child to rely on her own capabilities, how will she ever realise what her capabilities are? As Emerson famously said “The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried.” Hard sometimes to understand; harder still to practise.

Most children are eager to 'do'; it is we with our excessive caution that hold them back. In child development terms it is important for children to become increasingly independent, self-reliant and responsible as they grow. It can be challenging for parents to know when to step back and when to let children try something on their own.

Early on, let the child eat on his own, make his own bed and dress himself. Have clear boundaries and enforce those. When he is trying out something for the first time, walk him through each step patiently. Let him take his time in doing it and don't jump in to help him unless he asks for help. Just knowing you are there is often the only support he needs.

Be cheerful and encouraging. Praise the child at every step and he will embrace the new with immense positivity and a 'can do' attitude. He will amaze you with his capability.

 

Once the child is comfortable with tasks, assign responsibilities and encourage healthy risk-taking. Allow children to set their own goals, unless you feel they are capable of much more. Most things are not done perfectly the first time around - even by adults! Let your child know that imperfection is not the end of the world nor is it even anything to be embarrassed about. Don't rush to shield them from impending failure. By doing this, parents rob their children of some very powerful life tools: perseverance, confidence and yes, self-reliance.

 

Encourage activity and discourage excessive passivity with TV and video games as these tend to make children lethargic and less prone to think independently.

 

Your children are relying on you to teach them how to handle life - sometimes that means watching and learning from you and sometimes that means you watching them and encouraging them to figure it out on their own.